


magic city

by NanakiBH



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Begging, Existentialism, Holding Hands, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Post-Canon, Shower Sex, Unconditional Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Ordinary' could be alright. Maybe luck had no bias.</p>
            </blockquote>





	magic city

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by [this post](http://sol--lux.tumblr.com/post/102907679704/draws-komahina-aesthetic) by sol--lux. The title is from a koyori song by the same title, but I only listened to risou while writing. Check them out.
> 
> Mainly, I was imagining how hard it would still be for Komaeda even if he acquired real hope. A happy ending wouldn't always be happy. I think he'll struggle forever, but it would be a fight worth fighting.

Just like that, the days became ordinary.

As if awakening from a long sleep, the world finally saw the sun again as it rose sleepily from its hibernation, crawling out from between the clouds. It shined, oblivious to the insignificant struggle that had taken place between the millions of insignificant lives that dotted the surface of the land beneath it; the lives that lost themselves, that fought and destroyed. With the arrival of hope came not a sense of victory, just emptiness as they looked down and noticed the rubble and debris then illuminated around their feet.

The sun could only spread its rays so far, touching only one side of the Earth at a time. Its relief was heavy. It was a lot easier to be in despair; a state more easily embraced by the heart to protect itself from the much crueler feeling of disappointment.

To live with hope was to harbor fragile expectations; things that could be broken just as easily and impartially as the sun rose. By simply having hope, one made themself a target, open to fire.

That was what Komaeda realized the moment he held hope with his own hand.

Alongside the desire to protect it with his whole being was the terrifying feeling that he would be powerless to stop it from being taken away from him. It was a surprisingly familiar feeling. It was something he remembered. The same feeling seized him when he entered Hope's Peak. It was there again when he stood on the beach and felt the warmth of Hinata's hand in his own.

Hope was temporary – like the warmth of another person or the sun's rays. There wasn't a way to make it stay, and the realization made him tremble.

So he wondered, was that what life used to be like before the sky turned red? Did everyone live in such an unpredictable state of fear? Did Hinata know that feeling?

If he wanted to ask, would he even be able to find the words?

Instead of opening his mouth, he kept walking beside him, valuing the precious silence, and tried not to question anything.

Tried... Yeah, he tried.

Even on a day when the sun was shining and it looked as though the world were in a state of peace, Komaeda still worried about what could occur to shatter the glass surface of such an ideal moment. It was too perfect for a person like him; someone who was destined to drop every precious thing that was placed in his care. After living every day with the fear of misfortune knocking gently at the back of his mind, the small glances he used to take over his shoulder turned into persistent paranoia.

He wasn't just glancing back anymore. After living and dying and living again, he couldn't face forward anymore. Even though hope was right there in his hand, he was too afraid to advance. That one little piece of hope was enough. He didn't need any more than what he had. If it meant that he could hold onto it forever, he would never take another step.

“It really is a nice day, isn't it?”

Hinata was trying to make smalltalk. Komaeda wanted to answer, but even the idea of answering such a rhetorical question felt exhausting. He already knew the expected answer and it was ready to roll off his tongue, but he was sure that his cynical thoughts would interfere. That day was nice, perhaps, compared to the hundreds of darker ones that preceded it, but it wasn't anything special.

It was irritating to watch people as they celebrated. What were they celebrating? Conquering themselves? Finally realizing they had been weak enough to let themselves be manipulated?

It was an average day. Shit like that happened every day in small or large scales.

If he opened his mouth, though the rhetorical words were there, he knew that the ones that would come out wouldn't be in agreement. So, again, he just didn't say anything.

Holding up the camera he'd borrowed from Koizumi, Hinata lifted it to his eye and snapped a picture of him from the side while walking. “You look like you're deep in thought. No offense, but I know I should be worried whenever you start spacing out. We're supposed to be on a date today, so you can stop thinking so hard.”

Like that was an easy thing to do.

“...Wait, did you call this a 'date'?” Komaeda asked, turning to look at him. They were finally at the edge of the city, having walked the street away from their apartment for as far as it would take them. They'd passed by wrecked and demolished buildings, past restaurants and businesses that sat between darkened stores that had their windows smashed in. There was still a faint restlessness in the air, but everything became still and quiet as long as the sun was shining.

The sun was setting, though.

The restlessness inside of him was growing.

Hinata lowered the camera and his step slowed for a noticeable second before he came back with a response. “It's, uh... Wait, w-why wouldn't it be a date? We live together in the same place now, so we see each other all the time. Doing things at home isn't the same as... _this_.”

Komaeda wasn't totally sure he knew what he was talking about. He really liked the time they spent together in the apartment. There were other Future Foundation members living in the same building, so he felt secure when they were there – as long as he didn't think about how living on the twelfth floor was as close to bad luck as they could get. As long as those worries didn't trap him, he was free to happily enjoy being with Hinata.

In some ways, 'ordinary' was okay. The simple, uneventful days where they went to work and returned home in the dark and ate in comfortable silence were his happiest, but they were also the most precarious. It was hard to definitively call them 'nice'.

If he did that... If he acknowledged how happy he was out loud, he was afraid of what would become of that happiness.

At the edge of town, a set of train tracks separated the backside of the buildings from the water. They were in the magic hour when the sky was living in delicate colors; the fading light of the sun lighting up the horizon with the orange of a flickering candle, the sky and clouds above a soft cotton candy pink, the ground beneath their feet in various shades of purple. Even to his tired eyes, Komaeda could look at that sky and find it beautiful. The gently drifting clouds were just minding their own business. It was a very different picture from before, when the embers of cities on fire climbed to the sky, dyeing it as red as the streets covered in blood.

Above the shadows, the tracks were glistening.

“Hey, come on,” Hinata said, taking his good hand. “This is where I wanted to come. At this time, it's the perfect place for a photo op.”

Komaeda's eyes went to the hand holding his. It was becoming an ordinary sight. Even its warmth was starting to be commonplace in his days. As he curled his fingers around Hinata's, he lightly clenched the fingers of his other hand, listened to the sound of the joints, and wondered how many more times he would be able to hold Hinata's hand. One day, he knew, he would reach out and find nothing but air.

Like the natural cycle of life and death, everything good that appeared before him would naturally leave. That was a fact of his life that was understood by him and no one else.

It was tiring to spend the days waiting for everything to leave.

He couldn't breathe when he was holding Hinata's hand. But he loved it too much to let go.

When they reached the tracks, they stood in silence for a moment, hands linked, staring at the sky. It looked like it went on forever, going far, far beyond the blue waves, beyond the horizon, out into space where the moon and stars were already penetrating the evening sky.

A childish thought slipped into Komaeda's head. Grasping the ring that hung around his neck between the metal fingers of his left hand, he lifted it up in front of one eye and aligned its shape with the moon, completing its crescent shape.

Feeling Hinata leaning against his side, he lowered it, looked at him. “Don't mind me. Just indulging a silly thought.”

“So you took my word for it,” Hinata said, a triumphant smile appearing on his face.

Komaeda hadn't thought of it like that, but he supposed he was right. Without realizing it, the worries he'd been endlessly pondering had slid away for a moment. For that moment, he wasn't thinking. He hadn't felt anything except for the slightly humid breeze on his face. But realizing that he'd been absentminded for even a second made the fear return.

“Maybe,” Komaeda said, unable to decide whether Hinata's suggestion was bad advice or not. Not thinking felt nice, but he didn't know if he was capable of staying unaware. All of the things that made him worry just came back in and made him feel claustrophobic.

Gently, like a petal falling from a tree, Hinata's fingers slipped away, and Komaeda chased after them with his eyes, a terrible feeling in his chest.

He wanted to keep smiling for Hinata. If he was going to keep living, protecting the little hope he had, he still wanted to make use of his life, so he decided to dedicate everything to Hinata's happiness. No matter how frightened and apprehensive he felt, he didn't want to let those feelings of his stop Hinata from living life the way he wanted to.

They'd already spent so much time together, and nothing bad had come to claim their peace. That meant there had to be something truly terrible awaiting them. While Hinata wandered ahead like he always would, appearing oblivious and unfazed by anything, Komaeda forced a smile.

At least he was good at lying.

Hinata waved him over. “Here looks good,” he said, facing the length of the tracks, camera poised to determine the framing of his shot.

Komaeda wandered into the shot. He knew that Hinata wasn't going to ask him to do anything that sounded dangerous for the sake of a picture, so he decided to fulfill the unspoken request on his own instead, stepping over a little farther, into the center of the tracks. He saw Hinata's brows come together over the top of the camera as he watched, but he didn't raise any objections.

Without taking a picture, he lowered the camera and looked at him.

“Want me to move?” Komaeda asked, taking a step back onto one of the wooden slats behind his heels.

There was a pause, then Hinata smiled hesitantly. “No, you're fine where you are. I was just... thinking about how you look a lot like you did. Back on the island.” His words were finished quietly, but they hung heavily in the damp air. “That coat has followed you through thick and thin, hasn't it? You're still wearing that shirt too, even though it's probably been through the wash a thousand times by now.”

“Some things've changed,” Komaeda replied, waving his artificial hand. For some reason, he felt desperate to believe his own words. Although Hinata probably meant it innocently, Komaeda hated that things were the same.

The longer something stayed the same, the quicker it would become ordinary. It would've been nice if that meant he could be ordinary like everyone else and live a harmless life, but he knew the true meaning of 'ordinary' in his life.

It meant the cycle of good and bad luck would continue like always, uninterrupted.

He was... ordinary.

As he was wrapped up in that thought, he heard the sound of the shutter.

“There.” Hinata looked down at the camera, smiling to himself as he reviewed the picture he'd taken on the digital screen. “We should do this again. Wouldn't it be cool to come back here and take more pictures? A year from now, we can compare how much we've changed.”

A whole year of good luck spent by his side...

He heard the shutter again.

Hinata was still smiling at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking away quickly, a little bit of his old bashfulness sneaking in. “You just looked... Uh... That was-” He coughed to steady his cracking voice. “That was a good smile. You looked really happy.”

Just when he forgot about faking a smile, a real one must have appeared. Komaeda was sure it must have still looked a little troubled, but, for him, maybe it had been a good one. It felt like a long time since he wasn't smiling to conceal something, but, when he was around Hinata, things were different.

Things were...

Different?

A second ago, didn't Hinata say he looked the same? Then was he? The thought was going to fester. The meanings of the words he thought he had carefully defined for himself began to swirl and entangle in his mind until he couldn't tell one from the other. There was a moment as short as one breath where he felt relieved that he might be changing after all, but then he worried for what would become of the hope he'd been clutching.

Staying the same was frightening. Changing was frightening.

When he focused his eyes, he saw Hinata focusing on him through the viewfinder. “What're you thinking about?” Hinata asked.

Komaeda didn't want to answer. Again. That was how he'd been lately. Even though Hinata was patient with him, his patience made him feel guilty, so he would rather keep his mouth shut than explain the harsh things he was frequently tempted to say. He was just glad that Hinata was still willing to be with him, so it was unreasonable to take or accept anything more from him, much less to hold any expectations.

Hinata was hope and he was a pebble; one like the many little stones between the slats and just as insignificant. Just the same, he could find himself in the same place for ten years to be suddenly displaced without warning.

His whole life, he was laying on the tracks, getting run over at irregular intervals. Maybe that was why it felt familiar and even safe to be standing on top of them instead.

He grinned. “I was just thinking that walking on these tracks is like tempting fate. This is really bold for someone like me. My shoelaces might get stuck and a train might come and I might not be able to get free in time.”

“Can't you slip your feet out of your shoes?” Hinata laughed.

Probably.

The tracks weren't scaring him more than anything else he'd been thinking about. As far as accidents went, Komaeda felt confident that he would see or hear a train coming before it had a chance to hit him. Whenever he heard about kids getting themselves killed by playing on the tracks, he wasn't sure how such a thing could happen – unless they were suicidal.

In which case... He could understand that.

“I'm pretty happy right now.” Komaeda tipped back his head and took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the humid summer air. His jacket felt heavy, but he felt safer when he was wearing it for some reason. His left hand seemed a bit stiff in the weather, but he couldn't feel it, so it didn't hurt. “If I died right here and now, I think I would be alright with that.”

“You're still thinking like that?”

Hinata sounded disappointed. Komaeda hadn't meant to say that part out loud.

Other people didn't casually talk about dying the way he did, but he thought that Hinata would have come to expect that from him. “Sometimes I forget... I'm all in my own head. You can't read my mind at all.”

Turning off the camera, Hinata put the strap around his neck and went over to him. When he was close, he extended his hand. Again, Komaeda found himself staring at it, taking a mental snapshot of the ring around his finger that was identical to the one hanging on a chain around his neck. “It would be insensitive of me to tell you not to let your anxiety control you. I get that now. I know there are a lot of things you can't help,” Hinata said. Noticing his reluctance, he took Komaeda's hand and led him away from the tracks, letting go once they were back on safe ground. “I wonder if there's something that could help you, though. I've... been kind of meaning to bring it up.”

“There are no convenient pills that can change my luck, nor the world, nor the people, nor the way I am perceived.”

That was the long and short of it.

“Uh, yeah, I don't think you could expect anything to have an effect like that,” Hinata said, sighing wearily. “Even if you can't change your luck, you can change the way you see it. There might be something that could help you look at things from another angle."

“...Like yours, you mean.” That was what Hinata meant, he figured. The notion sounded arrogant, but... It didn't bother him. “I'd like to see the world the way you see it.”

“The way I see it...” He held onto the camera. “Yeah, maybe.”

"I'm afraid, Hinata. I'm happy, but I'm afraid,” Komaeda said. "No, I'm afraid because I'm happy. Happiness isn't supposed to exist for someone like me. It's too difficult. At any moment, I know that it might run away from me."

“Because of your luck? Things happen. I'm sure there are enough things that happen to you that would've happened to anyone, regardless of luck.”

Komaeda always enjoyed talking to Hinata because he wanted to believe in his realistic brand of optimism, but sometimes Hinata really didn't know what he was talking about. It was frustrating, being misunderstood. A view like that was so simple, it was irritating. Komaeda couldn't help but feel offended.

Luck was... Everyone had luck, whether it were a little or to a crushing degree. Luck was at its worst when it was at its greatest. To be the luckiest man in the world was to be burdened with a cosmic turmoil no normal person would ever have to experience. A normal person wouldn't know what it meant to be unlucky. He was _lucky_ if he stepped in a puddle, if he missed his train, if his cellphone battery died.

Luck was not a harmless thing.

Komaeda took in a breath through his nose and stepped away. “Don't take my luck lightly. You know what it's capable of. Just by being with me, you're putting yourself in danger.”

That look which was so familiar was on Hinata's face again; the one that said he couldn't believe him, that he was annoyed, that he was getting tired and fed up with him. There was something about each of his faces that Komaeda liked, even that one, but that didn't mean that it didn't still hurt.

Looking him in the eyes with that expression, Hinata replied. “I don't care. That was my choice. You have the nerve to say that you're more dangerous than all the other things I've been through?”

He wasn't, no. Not him.

His luck.

“Let's have a bet,” Komaeda said. Linking his fingers together behind his back, metal and flesh, he stepped back onto the tracks and turned to face Hinata. “I'm going to stand here. I won't move. If I'm not dead in five minutes, then you win. I'll accept what you said. And if I die...” He laughed, but it made his chest ache. “Well, then I guess I win.”

The indignant, outraged look Hinata gave him made that ache worsen in a good way. “A-are you crazy? There's no way I would let you do something so reckless. Stop joking around.”

Komaeda just looked up to the sky. “Whether I die here doesn't matter. I'll die some other day, and not before something occurs that will force me to loosen my grasp on hope. To die here while I'm happy would be a luxury.” But... There was always a 'but'. His luck didn't care about what would make him happy. “But I'm not _that_ lucky, Hinata-kun. My misfortune will make sure that I'm dragged through the dirt first.”

He couldn't help his honesty and he couldn't help the way it affected Hinata, either. Whether he kept his thoughts inside or let them loose, they would fly like arrows.

Five minutes would be a long time if he planned to stand there without moving. Death would be all he could think about, but he wasn't sure whether that would beg a train to come or not. Either way, he had the feeling that Hinata would intervene if something dangerous were going to happen. And then Hinata would probably be the one who was hurt instead.

Hinata was wearing shoes with laces too, after all.

Gazing at the ground, Hinata shook his head tiredly. “Why do I even bother,” he sighed. His honest thoughts slipped out sometimes, too. By the time he noticed, he was gaping, looking back up at Komaeda with the eyes of one who was witnessing a train wreck; round and petrified with a single fascinated focus. “I'm sorry. Sometimes, I feel like the things I'm saying aren't getting through to you. It feels pointless and it... reminds me of the way I used to feel about myself, like I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry, so... Please, come over here.”

If he were hit by a train, was that really the look Hinata would have?

Komaeda couldn't remember what point he was trying to make anymore. He thought he would be happier if he could vanish before his happiness did, but... The ache in his chest was expanding at an extraordinary rate. It made him so happy to know that there was someone who would be sad if he died, who would probably carry a scar with his name for the rest of their life, so...

Why did that wonderful thought have to also be so painfully sad?

“Komaeda, I don't want you to die. After what you just said now, I'm certain – you don't want to die, either. So don't say things like that,” Hinata said. “If some force really thought this world would be better off without you, maybe it would have killed you already. But it brought you back.”

He was wrong. Hinata had to be wrong. For every happiness and moment of good luck, there were a hundred or a thousand terrible instances of bad luck that prevailed like shadows over the rest.

“It brought me back to make me suffer some more.”

Night was drowning the sun. The sky wasn't so beautiful anymore. It was getting colder.

“Are you, though?” Hinata asked. “Your anxiety is real, but apart from that, has your luck made you suffer since you've been with me?”

No, but that was the problem. Hinata was hitting it on the head, so why wasn't he realizing? That anxiety existed for a reason. If it weren't for his peace... If it weren't for his misfortune... All of it. It was everything.

He was going to tear himself apart before a train could even come.

Clutching Koizumi's camera in both hands, Hinata came closer to him and stopped just at the side of the tracks. He stared at him earnestly, but that made it easier for Komaeda to see the emotions warring in his eyes.

“Earlier today, you asked me why I felt like taking pictures and I didn't say anything. The truth is, there are things I'm afraid of too... You were wondering how other people manage to live, right? I think it's because they don't question the things they do. When I asked Koizumi for her camera, I wasn't really thinking about anything. I thought it would be nice to have pictures of you and us together, but I didn't ask myself why. When I was looking at you through the camera, it was like I was seeing you for the first time. I realized how strongly I feel about you.”

“Hinata-kun...”

That was really cheesy.

“I'm afraid of your luck, too. Even if I don't think about it like you do, a part of me already acknowledged that something might pull us away from each other eventually, and that's why I wanted to hold on as hard as I could. I have to keep watching you and never take my eyes away, otherwise you might disappear. Maybe a picture could capture you in one moment, but I don't want a picture to say the thousand words I haven't been able to tell you yet.”

That was... That was so cheesy, it put tears in Komaeda's eyes.

“So you... do get it...”

Hinata's hands went to his sides weakly. “I wish I could read your mind, Komaeda. I wish I had a talent like that.”

The humid summer air filled Komaeda's lungs and made his chest feel lighter, pushing his heart back up to the surface. “I'm sorry for being so selfish,” he said. He felt like he'd been punched, but he'd been the one to hit himself in the gut.

Had it been five minutes?

Giving him a smile that was just as tired as it was relieved, Hinata held out his arms. “You'll come back now, right? If we haven't seen one yet, then I doubt any trains will be coming through here, but I don't want to take chances. We should get ourselves out of here. Like you said, your luck's dangerous. Even if we get off the tracks, I don't want a train to come by out of nowhere and come flying off the tracks at us.”

“T-true.” So, Hinata could think like him if he really wanted to. Komaeda knew he could. It was just reassuring to hear him stealing the thoughts out of his head.

He stepped off the tracks and into Hinata's awaiting arms. The moment he felt their warmth and smelled his scent, he felt a very uneasy sense of ease. It made him wonder if Hinata was right about finding something to help him. Once, he remembered being able to feel relaxed, even when he was still recovering from grief. Part of his unease may have resulted from repeated experiences of misfortune, but it didn't seem like a coincidence that things became worse after his fateful diagnosis. Even though his condition had somehow stabilized during the New World Program, it hadn't gone away. The symptoms still lingered and seemed to become worse as he ignored it.

Komaeda entertained the thought that all misfortune was a result of negative thinking.

Or... Maybe bad luck was more prevalent with a lack of hope.

In which case...

“I'm sorry, Hinata,” he said again, resting his cheek against Hinata's shoulder. “I let myself get carried away. I'm still useless after all. It's hard to change my mind once I think I'm right.”

Hinata leaned against him in return, resting his cheek against the side of his head. Komaeda felt his hands against his back. “I'd be happy if you relied on me more. Even if I get frustrated, being needed by you is...” He grumbled, fighting with his words. “It's... _You know._ ”

Straightening himself up, Komaeda laughed softly and finally felt a little bit of that terrible weight lifting, especially when he saw Hinata's embarrassed face. With all of his agonizing, he almost forgot what it was that gave him hope.

It wasn't just Hinata. To live every day defying his abnormal luck for the sake of appreciating the time he spent together with him, to appreciate all of the things he failed to notice before while he was huddling in despair, to finally live...

Simply living.

He didn't have a hand where to put the ring that hung from his neck, but her grasp wasn't holding him back anymore, either.

“W-want to know why I gave that to you?” Hinata asked, glancing away sheepishly, pretending like he hadn't been watching the way Komaeda was idly playing with the ring.

Komaeda tilted his head. “Wasn't it to replace the one you gave me on the island?”

It was a shame that the Hope's Peak class ring Hinata found for him hadn't been on his hand when he awoke. It had been an illusion of the program, just like the island itself. The reason Komaeda determined on his own made enough sense that he didn't question it – he was just happy to receive another present from Hinata – but there were some things that went unexplained.

The ring Hinata gave him was plain and ordinary-looking; just a silver band. There wasn't anything special about it. It clearly wasn't another class ring, but Komaeda doubted he would've been able to find one like that for him after Hope's Peak was turned into ruins.

That aside, there was also the fact that Hinata wore an identical ring. That knowledge made Komaeda's heart flutter for reasons that couldn't have possibly been intentional.

“That was part of the idea,” Hinata said. He lifted his left hand and gently touched his matching ring. “But I actually wanted to give you a good luck charm. You told me about all of the things you lost, so I wanted it to be something that meant 'forever'. If your luck is real, then... Why not? Maybe it'll work.”

It took a moment for the entire thought to process in Komaeda's head. When it did, he just shook his head and gave him an amused laugh.

What a unique idea, though. “A good luck charm for the luckiest person? I don't know if that's necessary, but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you, Hinata-kun.” Except, there was still that other question. “Mind if I ask why you have one too?”

“For luck, of course.”

That time, Komaeda wasn't sure what to feel at first. Instead of feeling insulted that Hinata would want to manipulate luck for himself, Komaeda felt strangely flattered. To his ears, it sounded like Hinata was telling him that he was wearing it for _him_ , to provide him with more positive luck.

Komaeda was almost ready to believe in the rings' power.

As if the forces of his misfortune were spiting him for his hopefulness, he felt something touch his cheek and looked up right when another drop of rain fell down and hit him on the forehead.

“Why?” he wondered out loud. “There aren't even any clouds.”

It had to be because-

“It's not your luck,” Hinata assured him. Touching his arm, he started to walk, expecting Komaeda to follow him. “I checked the weather today. I already knew it was supposed to rain. See? There are things that will happen to everyone.”

Before they left, Komaeda took a look back at the tracks, half-expecting to see that wild train come barreling off the rails at the them. But the air was still. There was nothing but the sound of the waves in the distance and the gradually accumulating sound of raindrops hitting the dry ground. He felt the shape of the ring with his right hand and looked back at Hinata.

Komaeda only regretted that he hadn't been able to discard his anxiety sooner. He was the only thing that warped what would have otherwise been a perfect moment.

If he already couldn't stand himself, he wondered what he would think of those pictures Hinata took in a year. By then, he hoped that he would be a stronger person – one who wasn't simply submitting to the bad things by rationalizing them, but trying to defy them.

He wanted Hinata's next picture to be of someone else.

As they walked back into the city, the rain began to fall harder. Hinata was freaking out about what was going to happen to the camera if it got wet, worried that Koizumi would fry him alive for ruining one of her precious cameras that she'd trusted him with. Before Hinata could ask him what he was doing, Komaeda took it off his hands. Putting the strap around his own neck, he zipped the camera up inside his coat to keep it safe.

Hinata looked grateful, but he was staring at him with a look that Komaeda interpreted as jealousy. “I thought you were crazy for wearing a coat while it was hot out, but it looks like I'm the idiot now,” he said, little shivers making his words tremble.

“I can zip you up in my coat too, if you want,” Komaeda offered, kind of thrilled by the mental image it gave him.

“We won't be able to walk home like that,” Hinata said, eyes closed. The way he dismissed the offer without shutting it down completely made Komaeda grin. “I'll be fine as long as we get back quickly.”

Thankfully, the rain stayed light. The streets that had already felt unusually quiet became even more quiet after everyone went inside. They were the only two idiots left walking around in the rain. Hands close, fingers nearly touching, they walked side by side down the sidewalk illuminated by the dim street lights, barely speaking.

With drops of rain clinging to his lashes, to Komaeda, the nighttime city drenched and shimmering looked more magical than that hour before the sun sank below the Earth. It was easier to breathe when the sun wasn't watching. It was easier to move himself past the invisible divide and slide his fingers into Hinata's palm.

Problems fled to the shadows and he could finally remember who he was again.

“I wish I had the camera,” Hinata said, staring at his profile.

Komaeda realized he was smiling again. “Just use your memory. It's more reliable than a camera, in some ways.” Leaning over a little, he kissed Hinata's cheek, earning himself a slightly startled blush. “I'll remember this moment,” he said, squeezing his hand. “I won't forget any of the moments I spend with you.”

As if not to be out done, Hinata tried to return his kiss and caught the edge of his jaw instead. He just grumbled quietly to himself and immediately tried again. His second try was on the mark, but his earnestness drew a laugh from Komaeda.

They were in their own world. Even if that were just a saying, when Komaeda thought about it like that, he felt his chest swell with a good feeling. Especially with night around them, it felt like nothing could touch them but the rain. Everything else was gently pushed out. There was only enough room for him and Hinata.

They didn't rush, even though their clothes were getting wet. There was no sense of urgency.

If they could just keep living at that pace without the sun ever rising...

“Hinata-kun.” Komaeda's heart leapt to his throat. He wasn't sure what he planned to say anymore. Even to him, the things that came to mind sounded too embarrassing, but if he didn't say them, he was afraid of them never being heard, no matter how obvious. So, with drops of rain rolling down the side of his face, he told him, “Thank you.”

“Huh? What's that for, all of a sudden?” Hinata asked, looking up at him, genuinely curious.

A memory from the past returned; that time on the island where he finally confided in Hinata and told him the things he hadn't thought important enough to tell anyone else. For someone like him, as he told himself, it would have been inconsequential, but Hinata felt different. And he'd proven himself to be different. “I'll take as many pictures with you as you'd like. I'd... like to make a lot of memories with you. Because I... A pebble like me doesn't deserve to be remembered by anyone.”

Maybe that wasn't what he meant to say.

Hinata seemed to understand anyway. “It's fine.”He squeezed Komaeda's hand back and looked at him with the kind of grin that meant he thought he had something clever to say. “Hey, if you're a pebble, then aren't I lucky to know you? Uh, you know. Cuz there are a lot of pebbles.”

He kinda bungled that one, but it was okay because it made Komaeda laugh.

That was a new way of looking at it. Komaeda kind of liked it. Instead of thinking that it was his luck that brought Hinata to him, it could have been Hinata's luck that brought him to stay at Hinata's side. That didn't mean that either of them were safe, though...

But he couldn't keep thinking like that.

He really hated that all of his happiest moments could be ruined the second he recalled the danger of existing. It was so much easier when he didn't have anything he strongly wanted to protect. It was easier without Hinata.

But, before Hinata, Komaeda couldn't remember what made him happy. All he had was a defeatist attitude to call 'hope'. If he could choose between loving him and having never loved him at all, Komaeda knew that he would have always done everything the same way. It was a temporary fix, but that thought helped him stop agonizing.

He had to remember that.

If he chose to protect himself instead, he wouldn't have known the warmth of Hinata's hand or what it was like to walk beside him in the rain, to take pictures and make memories or go home together.

No matter how many times he turned in circles, he would always eventually arrive at the conclusion that the good now in his life outweighed any future catastrophes.

It made him shiver, that feeling of hope. Real hope.

 

By the time they arrived back at the apartment, they were soaked through. Before they even reached the elevator, Komaeda unzipped the front of his coat to show Hinata that the camera was still safe and dry – just like his underwear, he added. Hinata didn't appear to be as fortunate. He looked very wet and kind of tired, but there was some redness in his cheeks...

Komaeda followed where his eyes were looking and looked down at himself. The camera may have stayed dry somehow, but the rain had gone through his coat and soaked his shirt. The thin material hugged him like a second skin, making his nipples visible.

“Ah-”

Only that one little sound made it out of his mouth before they both turned, hearing the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Eyes wide and gritting his teeth, Hinata dashed to the elevator and rapidly jabbed his finger into the call button about fifty times.

Komaeda removed his jacket and hung it over his right arm. “Oh please, Hinata-kun, you're acting like I have something to be ashamed of.”

Hinata stared at him- Well, it was more of a glare, but he was still red. “Hey. Maybe I just don't want anyone else to see you like that.” He backpedaled very quickly. “You don't want them to think you're a pervert, do you?”

“You're mad that you're aroused, aren't you.”

“W-who would be-?!”

Komaeda really wasn't concerned. He was a guy and he was pretty sure that nobody else in their building had eyes for him, and since he was firmly committed to Hinata, if anyone else tried to lay a hand on him, he felt confident that he could defend his 'honor' for himself, bad luck or not. If the stakes were dire, he knew how to be ruthless.

The elevator arrived before the footsteps on the stairs ended. When the doors opened, Hinata grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. He quickly pressed the button to close the doors and the number for their floor. Before the doors closed, Hinata grabbed the front of Komaeda's shirt in his hand and shoved him back up against the back wall of the elevator. With a somewhat wild look in his eyes, Hinata leaned his weight against him and kissed him, shoving his tongue past Komaeda's lips.

As Hinata slid his tongue over his, Komaeda watched as the doors closed. A person passed in front of them before they closed completely, probably drawn by the noise Hinata made when he slammed him against the elevator wall.

It was just a stranger – nobody from the Future Foundation. Komaeda recognized the guy, but he'd never spoken to him before, so that was going to be quite the first impression; seeing the two of them embracing shamelessly in the elevator like that. There was something poetic about it, he thought. If Hinata knew that someone had seen them, though, he probably would have been mortified.

Well. Komaeda wasn't going to tell him. It would be more fun if he found an opportunity where he could tease him about it later.

As the elevator doors closed, Komaeda closed his eyes and relaxed against the wall, letting Hinata hold him up. When his eyes were closed, he finally realized how tired he actually felt. Even Hinata's kiss became gentler as he realized that he wasn't returning his roughness. The elevator continued its slow ascent to the twelfth floor and they spent that time uninterrupted, locked in each other's arms with just their breath and the vague hums of the elevator that carried them home.

Before they reached their floor, Hinata released Komaeda's lips but kept his arms where they were around his waist. By the look he was given, Komaeda could tell that there were things on his mind. “When you talk about dying and things like that, it makes me want to hold on to you even more,” he said, resting his head against Komaeda's shoulder with a sigh.

“That's a weird thing to get turned on by,” Komaeda remarked, a little amused.

Hinata raised his head. The things he said must have stuck with him. “Even if you are some kind of jinx and being around you raises my risks, I want to be the one to determine for myself whether I'm in danger. Or... Maybe I'm just attracted to danger.”

He was impossibly cute sometimes.

Putting his hands on his shoulders, Komaeda leaned in and gave him another light kiss. With his lips against Hinata's, he looked into his eyes and replied, “Danger's attracted to you.”

He always knew he found a successful line when it made Hinata pretend to be annoyed. “We're already together. Stop hitting on me. Now it's just embarrassing.”

Little did he know, that was the goal.

The bell chimed at the twelfth floor and the elevator doors opened. Hinata took his hand and pulled him after him impatiently. While they'd been pressed up against each other, Komaeda could've sworn he felt _something else_ pressing against him too. If Hinata was bothered by the thought of a stranger seeing him with a wet shirt, Komaeda wondered how he would react to being seen sporting a very obvious boner.

“I wonder why it's so fun to imagine you getting flustered,” Komaeda mused aloud.

Glancing over his shoulder as they walked toward their room, Hinata narrowed his eyes. “Do I even want to know what you're thinking about...? I thought you were the one who loves being humiliated, but I guess you still have a sadistic streak in you too.”

“Admit it,” Komaeda murmured, freeing his wrist from Hinata's hand, sliding his fingers against the inside of his palm. “You enjoy being humiliated just as much as I do. It's a feeling shared by those of us who have been kicked and tossed around by life too many times to count. Despair turns you into a dirty pervert. You stop hating it and start begging for more.”

Hinata's feet stopped and he turned to him. “First of all, can you lower your voice? I don't want to talk about things like this where other people can hear us.”

“Are you sure that doesn't turn you on more?”

“ _Second of all_ ,” he continued, glaring pointedly, “you only like it because it's me.”

Komaeda couldn't say anything there. He was right. And it sounded like Hinata was silently including himself in that statement.

As long as he was in Hinata's embrace, he was willing to surrender everything to him. Trusting him that deeply, he would even feel satisfied if Hinata decided to kill him. Those moments when he gave up everything and left all of his choices to Hinata were the times when he felt the most peaceful. It was reassuring to know that Hinata understood. In a way, that feeling of two people who had mutually accepted death in the gentlest way might have been what was preventing his bad luck from striking.

It was impossible to know.

Komaeda was convinced that life had no inherent meaning, but it seemed like his luck wanted to make him miserable for a reason.

Was that reason... So that he and Hinata would be together?

Komaeda opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say. For the first time, he felt sympathy for his luck, that thing he'd always treated as some malevolent, other entity separate from himself. Perhaps luck, in all its forms, good and bad, had been trying its hardest to make an enduring happiness; innocently taking one thing away, innocently placing something else in his hands, awaiting his response.

But it was impossible to know.

But even if it were impossible to know, like the 'lucky charm' around his neck, he wanted to trust in it.

“Come on,” Hinata said, dropping his hand from Komaeda's only so he could fish the key out of his pocket and continue on.

Only a little farther, then he unlocked the door and entered after Komaeda, locking it behind them.

The first thing Komaeda did after taking off his shoes was hang his coat in the kitchen. Following that, he wandered into the bedroom, blindly finding his way through the room to the lamp to turn it on, then placed the camera on top of the dresser for Hinata to do with later. As he was on his way back to the kitchen, he stopped, compelled by the sight in front of him; Hinata, his back lit by the light from the kitchen, a certain look of lust in his eyes.

“You're so dumb,” Komaeda mumbled. “I can see through your shirt too.”

Smirking, Hinata grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. “I don't mind, now that we're at home.”

Komaeda sighed, disappointed. “That was your chance to say something really sexy... Like, 'Now you can see everything.'”

“You don't really want me to do that. Bad things happen when I try,” Hinata said, looking disappointed as well, clearly remembering the many times when he tried and failed to sound sexy. He was indeed quite a failure when it came to dirty talk. Now that he admitted to his own failings, he just looked kind of sad and vulnerable, holding his arms over his bare chest. “Forget it. Why don't we shower?” he asked, looking equal parts embarrassed and anxious.

Somehow, he was a lot sexier when he wasn't trying.

Getting excited, Komaeda's heart started beating faster. “Was that an invitation?” It felt like ages since they'd showered together, even though it was probably only a couple weeks.

“I'll get it ready,” Hinata said, already on his way to the bathroom. Komaeda followed. “Just put your wet clothes on the sink. I'll wash everything tomorrow.”

Komaeda closed the bathroom door behind them. “It's fine. I can handle it,” he said. Doing the laundry was cathartic. He enjoyed it, so he didn't mind.

He lifted the chain with the ring over his head and placed it safely on top of the cabinet before he took off his shirt. Although Komaeda had gotten used to the reflection of himself in the small bathroom mirror, it still sort of surprised him every time he saw it; the straps that went across his shoulders and around his arm to secure the functioning artificial hand. He didn't hesitate to remove it. For some reason, seeing himself without it – without any hand at all – was a more familiar and comforting sight.

Once the water was running, Hinata returned to him, sliding his arms around Komaeda's waist from behind. “You're so warm,” he murmured, resting his cheek against the back of his neck.

“You say such childish things when you're tired.”

“You feel all sticky and gross.”

“ _Hey._ ” Now he was just being silly.

Komaeda could feel him laughing against his back. The warmth of his breath spread across his skin and Hinata's laughs turned into kisses lightly placed along his shoulder. His hands slowly wandered over his chest, his fingertips teasing his nipples before gliding lower, over his thin stomach, before slipping beneath the waist of his pants. An involuntary shudder made Komaeda stumble, and he reached out to catch his balance on the edge of the sink.

Looking up, his hazy eyes cleared on the image reflected in the mirror of him and Hinata. Hinata appeared to be so wrapped up in what he was doing that he hadn't noticed, but Komaeda couldn't tear his eyes away once he saw. The rain left them looking ragged, but their skin had the appealing glow of warm, simmering desire beneath the surface.

Without even realizing, sounds started coming from his mouth; all sorts of quiet, pitiful noises as Hinata rubbed the heel of his palm over him through his underwear. By the time he noticed, his knees were quivering too, his hips aching to move. “Hinata-kun,” he gasped, elbowing him lightly. “If we stand here like this, we're just going to waste water.”

“You just want me to take your clothes off,” Hinata said, hitting the nail right on the head. He didn't play around and tease him more than that, though. Komaeda was disappointed by the loss of contact when Hinata pulled his hand away, but Hinata quickly went to work on the fastenings of his pants, releasing him from their tight restriction.

While Hinata worked on his own, Komaeda fumbled with getting his pants off the rest of the way. They were really stuck to him... The rain made the fabric feel even tighter, like it had a physical grip on his skin. Having only one hand to handle it with didn't make matters easier, but he wasn't going to beg for more help, either. He took it one leg at a time and even had them off before Hinata was done struggling with his own pants.

Once they were both undressed, Komaeda stood staring between them. “My, I wonder how we're going to shower like this.”

Unfettered, Hinata replied, “We'll stand under the water and say we did it.”

“I thought you were more diligent than that. I misjudged you, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said playfully, stepping forward to run a finger down Hinata's broad chest.

A little irritated twitch quirked the corner of Hinata's brow. “How long have we been living together now? You can drop the '-kun' anytime, you know.”

“Will you call me by my first name, then?” Judging by his reaction, asking Hinata to do that looked on par with asking him to walk outside naked or something. It might've been just a little too much for him still. “It's fine,” Komaeda relented. “I won't force you, Hajime- _kun._ ”

“N-now you're just being difficult. Stop that.”

Laughing, Komaeda gave him a kiss before slipping past him. Opening the shower door, he looked over his shoulder and lowered his lashes, waiting for Hinata to get the picture. He backed up, stepping under the spray, and Hinata joined him a second later, closing the shower after him.

Komaeda's heart was still pounding. He wanted to grab Hinata and kiss him for all he was worth, but he told his itching fingers to behave. He liked waiting for Hinata to decide. Hinata could be very dense, but he was also quite perceptive when it came to some things. It didn't take more than a few moments before he was once again chest to chest with him, Hinata's hands along his back. They moved over his skin steadily, washing away the remains of the dried rain, but his slow, lingering touch left Komaeda shivering and whimpering.

Holding his left arm against Hinata's back, Komaeda ran his right hand down Hinata's side and felt proud when he felt his cock twitch against his hip. He wanted to return as much as he received, but his head was already feeling fuzzy, his vision blurring with mounting desire.

At the back of his mind, he realized that he could feel the smooth shape of Hinata's ring on his skin and was grateful that they didn't have the type of drain it could get lost in – just in case.

Since he could only touch him with one hand, Komaeda decided to target Hinata's most sensitive spots, going first for his chest. Hinata jerked and gasped when Komaeda's fingers closed around one of his nipples, and his hands released him. Slitting his eyes mischievously, Komaeda dipped his head and caught the other with his mouth, laving it with his tongue before closing his lips around it. Hinata's fingers went to his hair, pushing it away from his face as Komaeda worked on his chest with his mouth.

Komaeda kept himself steady with his left arm against Hinata's hip. Though he was used to the sight, he felt weird about touching anyone with that part of him. There was something about it that felt inhuman, but, even when he asked, Hinata never seemed to be bothered by it. That other part of Hinata that was left dormant inside of him made him sympathetic yet disinterested in such a thing. Komaeda never thought he would have a reason to be grateful to that person.

Missing limbs must have been an average sight to someone who massacred an entire school. Just thinking about it could have made Komaeda mad all over again, but he was too in love with the person he became to still resent him.

Turning a blind eye to the horrible things he did probably made him a horrible person too – if his own decisions hadn't already solidified that as a fact.

“Hinata-kun,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to his chest. Hinata's eyes looked dark when Komaeda looked up at him, like he was somewhere inside his own head, having abandoned the outside for the pleasure he felt inside. Licking his lips, smirking to himself, Komaeda played with him a little more, grazing his nipples with his teeth, going from one to the other as he moved his hand lower and curled his fingers around his cock.

That brought Hinata back with a gasp, like he was surfacing for air.

He stroked his hand over him along with the warm water and listened to the lewd sounds it produced. He moved a bit faster just to watch Hinata's face light up with a colorful shade of red as the noises became louder around them, ringing off the tight walls of the shower. As much as he enjoyed watching him, if he didn't stop, Komaeda knew that Hinata wouldn't last for long, so he released him. Turning toward the wall, he planted his feet firmly on the floor and rested his elbows on the tiled wall.

It took Hinata a second to catch his breath. “Are you sure?” he asked, touching Komaeda's hip. “Soap would sting. Maybe I should get out and get some-”

“It's fine,” Komaeda assured, widening his step, reaching back to spread himself. Usually, he felt emboldened to say things he normally couldn't while they were wrapped up in passionate situations, but he needed to bite the inside of his cheek as he admitted, “I feel in the mood for something rough.”

“What's with that face?” Hinata asked, leaning over his back, his cock sliding along the curve of his backside. His lips were close enough for Komaeda to feel them ghosting over his cheek. “Only a virgin has the right to look that bashful. You're way too indecent for that.”

Yeah, like that. Hinata had no idea how sexy he could sound when he was just speaking bluntly.

Komaeda's heart was throbbing in his throat. “It must be because of how dear you are to me. I may be far from a virgin, but what if I tell you that every touch you give me still feels like the first?”

Hinata stared at him, mouth gaping, and Komaeda had the feeling he may have said something that stepped out of bounds, but then Hinata's arms wrapped tightly around his waist and he pressed against his back, nuzzling his shoulder. “Awful.”

“Too far?” Komaeda asked, canting his head to look at him.

“No, I...” Relaxing his arms, Hinata leaned back and placed his hands back on Komaeda's waist. “Even if the things you say are embarrassing, it still feels important that I hear it. It's... nice to be reminded that someone l-loves me that much...”

Reaching back, Komaeda touched one of the hands on his waist. “Your hope is what feeds my heart. My love for you is as limitless as my luck.” He sighed happily. Even if it were momentary, he felt totally relaxed, his worrisome thoughts floating away, replaced by a pleasant warmth like the steam that surrounded them. “I love you.”

That soft smile Hinata gave him every time he said those words made it more than worth it to say them over and over again. His smile was followed with another kiss messily placed to the corner of Komaeda's mouth, and then he became focused again, sliding one hand between Komaeda's legs from behind. Feeling one of his fingers pressing against his entrance, teasing, applying pressure without going inside, Komaeda's knees began to quiver and he worried about whether he would be able to hold himself up for long.

Actually, a better question was whether they could finish before the water began to run cold. He decided to look at it another way, feeling that a time limit might make things more exciting.

He told Hinata that he was interested in something rough, but Hinata was being nothing but gentle. Such infuriatingly gentle preparation was surprisingly effective, though. Komaeda's nerves were slowly becoming undone by the tips of his fingers as they massaged his skin and made him relax further. Once the first finger pushed its way inside, it wasn't painful at all. Even the second finger didn't prove to be a problem.

They twisted inside of him and Hinata tried to spread them apart as far as he could, but settled on curling them inside instead, searching for that one spot. He was generally good at finding it, so, sure enough, after a little searching, he had Komaeda shuddering and moving his hips wantonly, seeking more of that intense yet elusive pleasure.

Once he had him open, Hinata began to slow the movements of his fingers. Pressing his cheek against the tiles, Komaeda partially feigned a sigh, feeling partially ashamed of the state he was in. “Now you know what a slut I really am... Taking your fingers like this without even needing lube. Or maybe...” He glanced back at Hinata and smiled. “My body simply responds to you and opens at your magic touch.”

Hinata slid his fingers out. “Definitely too far.”

“W-wait, seriously?” Komaeda balked, suddenly afraid that he was actually being serious. “You aren't going to leave me hanging, right? Put your fingers back in!”

A wicked grin infected Hinata's gentle expression. “You had one thing right. You are a slut. Now why don't you let me hear you beg like one too?”

“I... shouldn't encourage you,” Komaeda said slowly, eyeing him warily. His eyes went from Hinata's face to his chest, dripping under the spray, to his stomach, to his cock that was standing impatiently. Komaeda felt his own cock jerk just at the sight of it, imagining himself filled with every inch of Hinata's thick, bare cock. His insides were tingling already.

Oh well. It was too late. He didn't care anymore.

Putting a hand behind himself, he felt around his entrance and slipped two of his own fingers inside, moaning at how loose he felt.

“Hinata-kun, please,” he said, making sure to catch his eye as he fingered himself. “You aren't really going to make me beg, are you? Look at how ready I am. Your cock looks fit to burst, too. I bet you can hardly stand it, waiting there stupidly while you're imagining what it must feel like inside of me without any lube. I don't even care if it hurts. I want it so bad... Come on, Hinata-kun.”

“Wh-why does it feel like I'm being goaded?” Hinata held a hand to his forehead, looking like he was questioning his life decisions. “Well, whatever.” Holding his cock, he readied the head against Komaeda's entrance where he was still holding himself open. “I'm putting it in.”

“What a typical line,” Komaeda laughed. “Why not go for something more creative like, 'take my hot, throbbing- hhgh _nnghhH!_ ”

All of his words and thoughts got immediately derailed when Hinata pushed inside of him, thrusting the whole thing in without warning. Komaeda wanted to call him an idiot or _something_ , but no coherent words would come out of his mouth when he tried, just a jumble of gross, humiliating noises. Compared to anything else, it didn't hurt as badly as he expected, but it hurt nonetheless. At least Hinata was kind enough not to move once it was inside.

Gently, Hinata rubbed a palm over his back, between his shoulders. “Maybe I should have taken it more slowly...”

“You idiot!” There it was, finally. “Were you trying to tear me apart? I thought you did that on purpose!”

“Yeah, I did,” he replied nonchalantly. “You were getting on my nerves. Not that I don't feel bad now, though. I know you said you were okay with me being rough, but I don't want to _literally_ tear you a new asshole. Sorry about that!”

Just how sorry was he, though?

Mysteriously, Komaeda couldn't muster the effort to be annoyed. His cock was still defiantly hard and he was even starting to become used to the tight stretch around Hinata's cock. It wasn't worse than other things he'd tried by himself... He wasn't sure if it felt better or if he was just that into it. Either way, he knew one thing for sure.

“More,” he said quietly, taking his eyes away from Hinata. “Keep going...”

Hinata seemed surprised. “Already?” He tried moving, holding Komaeda's hips and let out an even more surprised yet very pleased sound when he realized that he could move without resistance. There was a little, but nothing significant – just enough to make Komaeda's breath hitch and his thighs tremble.

The water was still warm. Hinata hadn't made it too hot, but it was warm enough to fog the glass shower doors and put steam around them. The spray was mostly on Hinata. Up against the cool tiles, Komaeda felt cold, but the water was aimed perfectly at where they were connected. Warm streams of water rolled down his back and legs and he could hear the sounds it made whenever Hinata moved; a wet smack of his hips up against his ass.

All of those earlier problems were gone. When he was being held by Hinata, he couldn't think about anything else. It was just them and the feeling of their bodies connected as one.

He was definitely more tired than he thought. He could feel himself slipping down the wall, but there wasn't much he could do about it, his mind absently floating in a foggy haze of euphoria. All he wanted was more and more, to feel Hinata and slip into a warm, dark, safe place...

Hinata must have noticed because he put his hands under his arms and pulled him back up.

“You alright?” he asked, stilling his hips with obvious effort.

Numbly, Komaeda nodded, the motion feeling as though it were performed by someone else. “I'm fine. It doesn't hurt at all now. In fact, I could probably fall asleep.”

“That doesn't sound like a compliment on my technique. Sorry for being boring.”

That other part of him must have been so annoyed at the thought of being _boring._ “I think you should definitely take it as a compliment. Look at how relaxed I am now compared to before. You could mess me up however you want right now and I'd be all for it.”

He felt Hinata's cock throb inside of him. To encourage him, Komaeda rolled his hips back, pressing himself up flush against Hinata's hips, sinking the length of him all the way in. When he did so, a cry uncontrollably tore from Komaeda's throat when he also brushed up against that one spot inside of himself.

Until then, he hadn't been thinking about his own cock. The feeling of Hinata inside of him was enough sometimes. However, when his cock jerked, he couldn't help but look underneath himself and notice how pathetically eager it looked; straining, dripping with precum.

One of Hinata's hands went to Komaeda's wet hair and tugged, pulling him back for a burning kiss. When he began to move again, his thrusts were punctuated with a hard snap of his hips that pushed him into that spot over and over, dead-on. Komaeda moaned helplessly and tried his best not to bite Hinata's tongue, feeling an unbearable ecstasy rising up inside of him, spreading from his core.

Eyes rolling back, Komaeda closed his eyes and submitted himself to the sensation; Hinata's cock rubbing against his raw insides with nothing but water and the stickiness of precum to guide him. He could tell that Hinata was feeling it too in the way his breath became rougher, strained as he thrust his way past the resistance inside of him with each renewed thrust.

Distracted by their kiss, Komaeda's eyes snapped open when he felt Hinata's hands suddenly upon his chest. He almost lost his balance for a second when his thighs instinctively wanted to come together, but he held himself up, breaking away from Hinata's mouth to return his forehead to the wall. Behind him, he heard Hinata release a breathless sort of gasp, sounding pleased that he'd found his weakness. As he rubbed his fingers over his nipples, Komaeda felt himself tightening up around Hinata's cock, becoming slightly painful. When Hinata moved his hands lower, over the sensitive expanse of his stomach, over his jutting hip bones, that feeling only became more intense.

Even if it hurt, Komaeda couldn't get enough of it. It wasn't enough. He needed more. He needed something else... His cock was begging to be touched, but he felt like if he just got a little more, he might be able to come without it...

“You could've just asked,” Hinata said, close to his ear.

His fingers, warm and wet, wrapped around Komaeda's cock. Having not realized just how sensitive he really was, Komaeda blacked out for a split second, his brain short circuiting at the sudden contact. He was back to whimpering, unsure what to ask for, unsure of his own mixed-up thoughts. Hinata wasn't fooling around, at least. His strokes were confident and evenly paced, matching nicely with the movement of his hips. Focusing on the rhythm gave Komaeda something to hold on to to keep himself from passing out.

“Hinata... kun...” He looked behind himself and found Hinata with his eyes closed, focused on what he was doing.

His hand and hips stilled for a moment when he opened his eyes and noticed Komaeda looking at him, then his face lit up again with a bright red. Clenching his jaw, he tightened his fist around Komaeda's cock and started really pounding into him.

“T-too hard...!” Komaeda gasped. It wasn't really, though – not enough to make him worry. But suddenly, with a pace like that, he found himself dangerously close to coming. He wanted to move with him, but his position was too limiting, so he just kept himself pressed up against the wall and panted, waiting expectantly, feeling the pleasure inside of him building up to its peak as Hinata stroked his hand roughly over his cock and delivered one hard thrust after another into his deepest place.

“Komaeda-” His name was the only thing Hinata was able to spit out before he was coming. One hand still surrounding Komaeda's cock, he tightly grabbed his hip and thrust himself in as far as he could and came deep inside of him.

That feeling was the best. There was nothing else like it. The feeling of it filling him up was enough to make Komaeda come, and he pushed back against Hinata to make sure he felt every last one of his lingering spasms as he rode out his own.

The water was getting cold...

Hinata pulled out slowly and made sure that Komaeda was alright to stand on his own, then turned aside to make the water warmer again. When he turned back around, he stared at Komaeda with a satisfied smile. “You look beat.”

Komaeda tried to wipe the shameless look off his face, but it wasn't easy to remove. The insides of his thighs were still tingling. “Yeah, that's cuz someone wrecked me,” he playfully accused. Turning around, he rested his back against the wall and kept an eye on Hinata as he slipped his hand between his thighs and pressed two of his fingers into himself. It was even looser inside than before. There was a slight sting there. It didn't hurt badly, but it was the kind that he was sure to be feeling for a couple days. “You came a lot,” he said and held up his cum-soaked fingers for Hinata to see.

Taunting him like that was probably going to get Hinata hard again. He was so easy to predict.

With a click of his tongue, Hinata grabbed his wrist and put his hand under the water to wash it off. “We should get out of here soon,” he said. It wasn't much, but the way he avoided looking at him told Komaeda that his guess was right on the money.

Komaeda pushed himself off from the wall and stumbled into Hinata's arms. He grabbed some soap and the two of them gave washing each other an honest effort before they succumbed to their exhaustion and finally turned off the water.

He didn't need Hinata's help with drying off, but he let him do it anyway. He yawned as he fluffed his hair with a towel and closed his eyes momentarily to enjoy the warmth of Hinata's hands. If he weren't careful, he could've fallen asleep standing up.

Once he was freed, Komaeda wandered away from Hinata while he was drying himself and went into the bedroom. Taking the remote from the nightstand, he turned on the TV at the foot of the bed and payed half-attention to the voice of the newscaster as he opened the drawers and pulled out underwear and a shirt to sleep in. When Hinata walked in, awkwardly holding the towel in front of himself, Komaeda grinned and helped him out by tossing his clothes to him.

Hinata dipped back into the bathroom for a few moments and reemerged clothed and holding something else. “You forgot something,” he said, holding up Komaeda's artificial arm. “You don't want it to get rusted, do you?”

“It's stainless,” Komaeda explained, mouth widening with another yawn.

It was placed on top of the dresser where it was usually kept when he wasn't wearing it. Its metal parts were too hard and the straps weren't very comfortable while he was laying down, so he never wore it at night.

Komaeda's eyes widened and he stopped mid-yawn as he realized something else he had forgotten. Rolling off the bed, he went past Hinata and dove into the bathroom. A sort of relief filled him when he saw the chain and ring still sitting in front of the mirror, and he felt even greater relief when he put it back on.

“Ah, I see,” Hinata said when Komaeda returned to the room. “So you decided to believe in my luck?”

“I just didn't want to forget it was there.” A small lie.

There was no way to prove without a doubt that the rings and Hinata's luck were protecting him. After his earlier thoughts, Komaeda was still wondering if there could've been an angle to his own luck that he hadn't considered yet as well. Until he could define the nature of 'luck' for himself, he was going to be careful. Not _too_ careful – but he would do his best to protect the things he had.

He crawled under the sheets and laid down next to Hinata. After he gave him a hopeful glance, Hinata held out an arm, allowing him closer. The warmth he radiated was so familiar and inviting, just like he was the first time they met on the island. After his true character had been revealed, Komaeda had feared that he would've never met that Hinata again.

Even more than that, he'd feared that he may have lost the only person who had been kind to him in so long...

He made bad decision after bad decision, manipulated by the absence of his memories. Was it by luck that he was brought back to life? Or was it a miracle?

Whatever it was, for the happiness he had, he was grateful. No matter how terrible, he couldn't even resent the events that brought them to where they were. For once, he wasn't rationalizing anything. Komaeda was truly happy.

“Hm? What's this?”

Komaeda looked at the TV as Hinata turned up the volume.

 

_“...-train derailed near the south station. Luckily, no one was injured. We caught up with the train's conductor to see what he had to say about the strange incident.”_

 

A nervous laugh slowly slipped out of Hinata's mouth. “That's just a coincidence. ...Right?”

There was no such thing as coincidence.

Clasping his hand around his ring, Komaeda recalled the feeling of his feet upon the tracks. Rather than feel despair seize him as he expected, a smile appeared instead.

“Disaster averted.”

That was a first. He had no reason to feel so certain, but... He had the unmistakable sense that misfortune had struck, falling ten steps behind him. A little farther, and he wondered if he could keep outpacing it.

He turned out the light and the white light of the moon outside the window flooded the room, interrupting the blue shadows along with the flickering colors of the TV. It was a moment that felt worthy of a picture, but the camera was sitting out of his reach and he was too tired to retrieve it. It would be alright, though.

If such a moment could become ordinary, he could live that picture every day.

Breathing, out of harm's reach, simply living.

An ordinary everyday.


End file.
